27/2/09
imagine one day you wake up
and realise everything was a dream
the world is jus a stage
and you saw ur own script
you noe ur ending
god's playing the sims
and he's enjoying it
unfortunately,
i'm not.
the stone's back again
i wonder why.
not gonna sleep well tonight
sweet dreams.
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 2:01 am
24/2/09
WEEEE~
exams over! =))))))
a thousand smiles
the smiles almost became a million tears
why?
due to intensive studying till 3 am,
i couldn't wake when my alarm rang at 6
and so i happily slept all the way
until i received an sms at 8
thank guanyin i received that sms
and thank guanyin i switched my phone from silent b4 i went to bed!
chiong to sch!
luckily i was still on time.
and thanks to kian how,
the paper was quite ok.
otherwise,
i would've jus stoned there.
staring at the paper
while it stared at me
forced to throw frisbees after exams -.-
i was wearing jeans luh
how stupid.
and long sleeves.
home.
bathe.
compass point.
mac.
den went to become a maid.
HAHAs.
i make it sound like something very got ''feng''
failed.
why?
cos the iron brand wasn't tefal!
i strongly recommend TEFAL.
okay, i jus checked out my iron
and i realised it's NOT tefal.
hahas.
still,
you noe the iron that can go on roads..
whatever.
mine is philips!
rocks still.
hahas.
so,
i watched ben button!
at vivo.
with my gf.
not bad not bad.
she peel prawns for me!
hahas.
okay, i shall forgive myself for being a maid.
so we're even okay!
savouring the cake =))
thanks girlfriend!
so sweet of you.
=)))))
thousand smiles again.
that makes 2 thousand alrd.
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 10:46 pm
just reached home.
waiting for the heater to heat up water for a lovely bath.
whatever.
just feeling happy
cos tml's the last day of this damn-ed sem!
thank's kian how for staying back to teach me luh
otherwise i guess i'm really a goner later.
gonna attempt the past year papers
and to keep myself from falling asleep,
i'm gonna blast techno again!
lalalas.
aiming to sleep by 3?
hmmmm.
hope its possible.
PINK PANTHER next!
holidays holidays.
gathering, whatever.
free sms me!
i'll be free till april 19th!
hahas.
off to the toilet i go!
ooh!
2months since i watched twilight!
how time flies.
it seems so long alrd though.
why is that so?
hmmmm.
issit me or issit really the case?
i'm wondering..
green green green.
i wanna learn to drive a car!
no,
i wanna drive a car.
i just wanna noe the feeling of driving a car!
satisfy my desire?
hahas.
i'll love you to bits.
see, i'm easily contented =p
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 12:32 am
23/2/09
12 am!
its mon!
tml's my last paper!
omgosh.
now i'm in a dilemma.
i wanna watch ben button later
but i haven finished cepa
left with a portion of it
should i forgo my ben button?
and be =(((((( ?
or should i go for ben button
and be =))))))) ?
hmmmm.
i tink i should go for it,
and den study right?
otherwise,
i wouldn't be able to conc.
agree?
lalalas.
excuses excuses.
full of excuses for myself.
or rather,
to put it more nicely,
reasoning.
i had crirtical reasoning skills this sem!
it's better not to think so deeply into things.
for i realise i'll live happier
the day's go by more easily,
without thinking about anything
about something in particular.
the more i think,
the more upset i become.
the heavier the stone in my heart feels.
it's amazing how it can be lifted jus like that somehow.
really.
i can never explain y it's like that .
that's the way it just is.
hopefully,
i'll be able to lift that stone just like that myself too.
benjamin button!
i should just go watch it luh
to lift my spirits
hahas.
whatever.
gf bo xim.
hahas =p =p =p
nights.
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 12:17 am
21/2/09
I JUS COMPLETED MY MIP REPORT AND I'M ELATED.
OMG LIKE FINALLY.
THE REPORT WAS DUE SO MANY WEEKS AGO AND I JUS COMPLETED IT!
yay-ness.
not to be happy too soon though.
i gotta finish a chapter by the time limit given.
omgosh.
STRESS.
hahas.
shall go bathe first.
mummy made us aerobic for half hour jus now.
=p =p =p =p =p
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 5:42 pm
i just wasted a day!
omgosh
*&^#%^#$%%^&%^&
i was supposed to do my mip report
budden after finishing the intro
i simply lost interest
hey, it's MIP leh
MATERIALs IN PRACTICE
shi sian de lor.
tonight i shall complete it i guess.
or rather, i aim to.
hmmm,
gonna blast techno again probably?
bleeahs.
it's already 1 am luh.
i wanna share my joy.
if everything goes well,
hopefully everything does.
like, how i gotta finish my report and study for CEPA.
den, i probably get to watch ben button!
so i gotta be hardworking.
and finish my work luh.
i tink human beings are real weird creatures.
like when they have something in hand,
they tend to like treat it as rubbish
and den they jus take it for granted?
but when they lose it,
or is on the verge of losing it,
they start to realise the importance,
they start to realise how the ''rubbish'' is actually their treasure.
agree?
haiya,
if you wan something,
den jus go for it luh.
wad for fake yourself and try to show other's what they wanna see?
do wat you want luh!
and you'll be happier damn it.
anyway,
exams seriously allow you to see a side of a person
hahas
i wonder if i'm one of those.
do i tell people i dun uds when actually i do?
or do i tell them that i'm so gonna fail when i 100% noe that i won't?
do i assure them that they'l do well when i noe in actual fact they won't?
i dunno.
my friend once ignored me because of a lit exam.
she didn't talk to me for days!
seriously,
in sec sch everyone says the same thing.
they tell you they dun study,
when in actual fact they chiong at home.
ha.
but i dunno wat's the prob with admitting you studied?
afraid that ppl will judge your score?
like, if you study and score badly.
ppl will say you're stupid?
but if you tell them you didn't,
and you score well,
you'll feel better?
how bout if you tell your fren dat you didn't study,
and ur fren stupidly follows you cos she's too tired
and she fails yet you pass with flying colours?
whatever luh.
grown numb to all the claims made before the exam.
and all the statements made when the papers are being handed out.
whatever.
my mood is good today.
not gonna spoil it.
hahas.
if earning a chance is so simple,
row the boat everday alright?
=p
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 12:42 am
19/2/09
one more paper to go!
and i'm a free bird
lalalas.
tired tired tired.
gotta complete my report tml i guess.
and my reflection.
mayb i should go complete it now
hais.
what do you do when you feel that someone is treating you weirdly
but dunno y?
hmmm,
would you jus confront the person if you dun like something that they're doing?
oh,
and i so wanna watch BENJAMIN BUTTON!
anyone wanna watch? sms me!
pretty please?
kind souls out there.
jj got new song.
DIMPLES!
haven listened to it though.
hahas.
nothing much hapened today.
except for a stupid mip paper.
and den linner with my classmates.
some of them.
home early today!
mummy say dun wan care me liao.
cos i make her not enough sleep.
everything blame me lo!
careless lose wallet also my fault leh!!
mummy,
you very guo fen.
hehe.
i love my mummy though.
=))))
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 8:35 pm
i wish to sleep now!
but i dun wish to fail mip tml.
i mean, later.
listening to some techno playlist on immem to keep myself awake.
need another cup of coffee.
but i think i finished the milk already =p
will i get to sleep ?
thank god the paper's at 2pm!
otherwise later seh liao.
and i jus finished the last bottle of chicken essence on tues!
techno is so sec 2.
hahas.
reminisce.
okay.
crap enough.
back to notes
i dunno if anything's going in though.
i seem to be onli reading and reading.
boo =(
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 3:09 am
supposed to be studying mip right now
somehow jus got the habit of having to warm up first
bad bad habit
hahas.
somehow this time mip not so stressed. yet.
at least i've an idea of wat i'm studying
not jus trying to memorise every single thing
of some unknown material
when they all look the same
it's damn hard.
unlike history, social studies, geography.
mip just... it's different.
anyway,
i screwed up my calculus.
still was feeling dat the paper was manageable.
but.
i can't believe wad i wrote.
damn.
ming ming see and noe dat it's not possible.
damn damn.
the more i think the more i feel like banging my head on the wall
damn.
hais.
e^0. i can't believe i wrote that as 0!
hais.
my 10 marks.
hais.
i hope i pass luh.
den at least i can still continue taking the module.
i'll work hard next sem if i pass.!
really luh..
hahas.
you noe,
some stuffs are so minor.
but they seriously can affect you alot.
i mean it luh.
just like how a phone call makes my day
and immediately lifts my spirits
even it was only for 10 secs?
hopeless.
hahas.
yet another day to remember.
=)))))))
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 12:50 am
17/2/09
i feel like screaming.
i dunno if its the stress
that i'm all blank now.
fuck.
i feel like going jogging now.
omg.
my mind's just blank.
damn it.
help.
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 1:19 am
16/2/09
nope.
i dun wan pity
i dun wan anything because of something
i dun expect something because of something either.
understand?
nope.
i dun need all that.
v day was a bore.
i mean the whole day
i tried studying
i did study at least
budden i got fed up
almost got a ride on a bike.
hahas
but nah.
didn't.
caught a 1130 movie.
till 1 50?
i tot i'd fall asleep
but it was quite interesting after all
didn't get to watch my ben button though.
sad luh.
reached home at bout 4.
blister on my feet again.
i swear to put on plasters before heels man!
anyway, not bad luh
v day.
hahas
more like v night.
or rather post v morning.
whatever.
still got many questions though.
and many unfound answers.
let bygones be bygones.
and let nature take its course.
shit.
they say fate fate fate
but if you dun do something bout whatever it is,
den nothing will happen.
agree?
back to work man.
aim to sleep by 1.
NIGHTs.
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 11:57 pm
13/2/09
hais.
i'm sorry.
really sorry.
i dun uds y it always ends up like that.
i feel bad
but wad can i do?
taking one step at a time
not remaining even as friends becomes the easy way out
agree?
i feel so fucked up
i might jus spend sat at home
so much for looking forward
so much for being excited
everything just doesn't seem right
i feel the warm liquid in my eyes
but i really dun wanna let it flow
so much for care and concern
so much for lying to myself
i guess what people always say is true.
your family's the best.
in this case,
my mummy's the best.
i screwed up my relationship
i screwed up this sem.
i screwed up my relationship with my dad.
fuck.
i'm not happy.
i dunno what's the cause
i think i'm my own cause.
FUCKING FELICIA QUEK.
DAMN YOU.
i think you should jus bang the wall and die.
damn it.
FUCKYOU.
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 12:15 am
10/2/09
i feel like a piece of shit.
mayb worse than a piece of shit.
hais.
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 1:23 am
9/2/09
i'm tired!
YAWNs.
i wanna sleep.
test tml.
essay.
not prepared yet.
hahas.
wad's wrong with me?
tml i'm gonna start my mugging!
study study study!
should i stay in sch or head down to airport?
REBB dated me for lunch.
hahas.
ohh,
i was fretting over not having a date for valentine's.
fret not fret not.
SOMEONE wants me to study on v day luh!!
=((((((((
i dun wanna be studying on v day =(
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 4:04 pm
6/2/09
i can't believe how fast the time is passing
the exams are around the corner
and the year 1 is coming to an end.
and i choose such a stupid time to play audition
hahas.
i gotta study!
but i'm working this weekend
hmmm.
nothing much to blog about also luh.
hais.
work, study, play.
study, work, play.
play, study, work.
lifeless luh.
hais.
exams exams coming!
soon i'm gonna be all moody and cranky.
just like always.
and den i'll get frustrated easily
and den i'll get moodswings easily too.
and den ppl get frustrated with me.
and den they'll scold me.
and den i'll be emo.
and den i won't feel like studying.
and den i won't get good grades.
and den i have to stop and den-ing.
because it's kinda irritating.
but den i still got many stuffs to get off ne chest
but den i dun wanna share them
but den if i dun share i'll feel so bad
but den i dun feel comfortable talking about it.
so i decided to keep mum.
so i'm not gonna say anything more.
so i'm gonna be emo.
so i'm gonna shut up.
but just for now.
cos you noe how talkative i am
i'll die if i dun talk
even for 10 mins.
okay, unless i'm ocuppied with something.
lame.
gotta sleep.
working tml.
nights.
hais.
i said i wanted this, i wanted that.
but i still decided like that.
why?
YING WEI WO XI GUAN LE!
nope,
i wasn't yelling.
jus emphasising.
hais.
sleep.
sleep the troubles away.
if i wake up not remembering hu i am,
would that be the best thing that has ever happened to me?
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 12:26 am
4/2/09
i dunno y things between us have turned out this way
i really wanna jus go and talk to you
like nothing happened
but i cant
i think bout wat happened
and i cant bring myself to do it.
i'm sorry.
=(
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 11:39 pm
just some of the photos i took
there are loads more luh.
but blogger is so lagg in uploading photos.
-.-
so i decided not to.
i'm supposed to be studying now!
i'm not =(
i wanna play high street 5
i wanna play o2jam!
but no more.
awww
i got my internet back!
yay!
no more having to carry the lappy out
jus so that i can use the internet.
lalalas.
i wonder wat i'll be locked out for next.
hahas.
i'm thinking.
since they can jus lock me out
and not care bout me
does that mean i can go overseas ?
same logic right?
i dun care though.
i'm staying over at our class chalet.
FOR BOTH NIGHTS.
i guess.
DUN CARE!
hahas.
oh man,
the holidays aren't even here yet.
gonna head out to study later.
downstairs will do i guess
cos the cc definitely would be packed.
i'm gonna fall asleep.
oh, cleaning the hammie's cage first.
STINKS.
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 4:49 pm
3/2/09
just finished gems.
stupid test.
hahas.
not bad.
i passed the module alrd.
WEEEEE~~
i haven't been able to update
due to some farker hu smashed the modem
into how many pieces i'm not sure
but it definitely is smashed
and
my reunion dinner was ruined
THANKS TO YOU.
damn it.
the whole cny thing jus doesn't get to me
it didn't feel like cny
and it still doesn't really feel like cny
except we keep seeing red packets.
this year's shou huo confirm down
cos mummy and us decided dat we dun wanna go THERE
and put on a show
being in such a situation
i guess it's hard to accept us?
i dunno.
but i definitely would not treat any ''family'' this way
i dunnid any pretences.
dunnid any pretending to accept us
but making it so obvious that you dun really.
i'm happy with just visiting mummy's side though
=)
dun really care bout the quek's.
hahas.
though i'm a QUEK too.
but ultimately,
in the end,
if i ever get married,
QUEK won't be the surname of my children.
hahas.
unless i sway sway find a husband whose surname's quek.
cannot be de luh .
issit true that the child of ppl with the same surname would have an extra chromosome in the 23rd pair of chromosomes?
anyhow,
cny sucks.
somehow this cny just sucks.
chu yi was spent playing arcade -.-
how dumb.
i threw basketballs till my arm ached!
and den uncle came.
i took the chance and followed his car back to jb
couldn't stand being with ''the man'' for any longer.
we sang k till like 5am can.
and i didn't drink!
cos i tot of somebody going
''hor hor u drink..''
hais.
chu er bai nian.
chu san skipped sch.
chu si go sch.
and den i got locked out again -.-
this time it was my fault.
i went back late.
but i seriously didn't expect the door to be locked.
spent the night elsewhere.
didn't wanna be condemned at the staircase again,
so this time i got to sleep.
till like 7am?
cos someone's alarm was so noisy =p
too loud . and the air con was too cold.
i was shivering.
even under the blankets!
they didn't even bother to call me.
i'm not sad okay.
i'm happy.
seriously.
chu wu met ahyi after sch.
and chu liu sucked.
dun bother asking y.
cos i dunno wad i was thinking too.
i should just bang my head on the wall and die.
oops.
mummy jus said today cannot simply talk
cos tiankong's bday.
anyway,
reached sk at bout 10.
hooch-ed alone at i dunno wad block.
and went home at 11 something.
i tot i'd be able to fall asleep after that bottle
but apparently i wasn't that weak.
sad.
because i was counting on it to get to sleep.
next time i should try 2 bottles!
or mayb
try the one with 8% alcohol.
damnit.
i dunno if i slept
because all i could remember was looking at the phone every half hour.
and den try to get to sleep
and it carried on until ...............
something.
sunday sucked.
ydae sucked.
and today might just suck too.
i'm getting moodier everyday.
i dunno y.
i wanna come to a conclusion.
but i dunno how.
i noe what would be better for me
but i jus refuse to work towards that
either way,
it's still gonna make me feel URGHHHH
Felicia feels like taking 10 panadol tablets with coke.
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 9:18 am
