31/8/09
HEYPEOPLE!
seriously,
if you've got a problem with me,
say it to my face,
OKAY?
FUCK.
i dont like it when you wanna act all nice and okay with me
but actually feel this and that.
don't you think this will result in alot of misunderstandings?
especially if it is one in the very first place.
if you do not make yourself clear at the very beginning,
den who are you to insult others like that at the end?
what's up man.
any idea what's the difference between trying to leak out your secret and PLAYING A FOOL?
AMITHABA.
you know what's the best part?
i didn't even know it was real.
and i didn't know that it was a secret that wasn't meant to be shared.
it would have helped if you clarified yourself in the first place.
so FRIENDS,
if you've really got something with me,
don't be talking behind my back
or secretly hating me for something done without ill-intentions
FUCK.
i do not do stuffs with ulterior motives like that.
if i really knew what was going on,
i wouldn't be so open about it
esp when the oppo party is a person like you.
who's kinda petty if you didnt realise.
and also kinda jumping to conclusions
and simply accusing others other than me.
i bet you were secretly enjoying the teasing
and den after all the enjoyment,
come and point fingers at me.
STAY AWAY FROM ME IF YOU FUCKING DON'T LIKE ME ALRIGHT.
I DON'T NEED HYPOCRITE FRIENDS LIKE YOU.
SERIOUSLY!
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 11:15 pm
28/8/09
Trying my best to concentrate
absorb whatever i can
to apply whatever that is required.
But my thoughts just keeps wondering back to you.
Any idea how difficult that is?
It's a lil past 3am.
and i'm still awake.
Trying to study with the little amount of time left.
I really wanna fall asleep.
I'm really v tired =(
But I can't
because i'm not done with fmb.
and the thoughts of you are hindering my process.
was it really that hard?
to just press new message and send?
Maybe I'm expecting too much..
But, do you think just a message is too demanding?
I really dunno.
You know what it feels like,
when your phone doesn't ring.
and you keep waiting and waiting,
telling yourself that it will.
and you realise in the end that you were just bluffing yourself.
Sure,
all kinds of reasons can come up.
But too tired to even send one,
at least to make someone feel better.
you definitely didn't sound like that.
Last time i self-deceived.
Now,
still going to?
It's getting harder for me to.
Maybe this time it'll be for real.
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 3:08 am
26/8/09
How could this happen to me,
I've made my mistakes,
got nowhere to run,
life goes on,
it's like i'm fading away
I'M SICK OF THIS LIFE
i just wanna SCREAM
how could this happen to me.
urgh.
just feeling v pissed.
studying since 9pm.
haven't caught a wink of sleep.
logged onto FB,
saw some stupid stuffs
and a FUCKING DISGUSTING picture
i dunno if that's who made me feel so bad on the 1st aug.
but if she is,
she's fucking disgusting
and i'm fucking fed up now.
you should just change your pw
so that i cant log in anymore
hais.
and then,
always when i wanna trust you,
suan le.
always saying me,
restricting me,
how bout yourself ?
FUCK THE I GIRL LUH.
MAKING ME PISSED AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 5:58 am
17/8/09
My lappy crash :((
So at the wrong time.
Hais..
Jap test later.
Plant safety tml !
Asate - plant design
Omg.
So dead so dead.
Birthday's on fri!
But i guess it won't be as sweet as last yr's.
So nothing much to look forward to.
Forced mummy and siblings
To watch UP with me ydae. Lols
Ehh.
It's a damn good cartoon!
LOVEs.
So much bettee than MVA. Seriously!
Anyway, horrible dream last night
Hais.
Again?
Man, it's all wrong.
Hais.
Cos of paranoid-ness?
Perhaps.
Once a lie,
Always a lie?
Once unfaithful,
Always unfaithful?
Once hurt,
Always hurt?
Once bitten,
Twice shy.
Careful you.
Walk away?
Maybe.
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 11:03 am
14/8/09
it's okay :)
I'm afraid of commitments too.
No promises
Doesn't matter :)
As long as you're happy
We shall remain like this
Shall we?
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 12:12 am
12/8/09
HEYPEEPS!the long weekend in ipoh was fun fun!
lalalas.
took the bus on friday night,
reached at about 6plus in the morn
boat-ed to pangkor island
taxi-ed to pray.
basically taxi-ed everywhere luh
prayed twice,
climbed mini great wall of china
toured the island.
went to visit the beach in the evening.
planned to banana boat the next morn.
the speedboat price was ridiculous luh
RM100 per half hour.
like omg.
oh!
there's a mini mount akina there!
hahas.
but damn loads of houseflies. omg.
mahjong-ed till wee hours in the morn.
GF luh!
jus throw me there and then i lost so much to his bro and niece -.-
i suck at mj.
lols.
sat morn,
forced to wake by gf''s mummy.
hahas. banana boat plan pao tang
cos not enough time
went to pray,
eat, and it was back to the boat
float to ipoh.
checked into the hotel,
bathed,
off to shopping.
forgot the name of the mall though.
the feeling just wasn't right luh.
like,
not in the mood for shopping.
cos i kept thinking of thailand thailand and more thailand.
so gotta control luh.
cannot spend.
later javey hate me for not having money for thailand.
lols.
dinner
den off to kbox.
afterwhich, 8 of us squeeZed into the mini car to the pub.
POOR GF, RIGHT! =p
huo gai ah ni. lalalas.
disco-ed after that.
OOOOOH THE SMOKE!
man, my hair stink-ed like some ash tray afterwards when we went back to the hotel.
but we were too tired luh
so we just fell asleep.
that was special.
hehe. feel the love!
3plus sleep,
6plus wake.
my eyes couldn't even open!
but somehow i managed to wake luh.
breakfast,
den back to hotel,
take stuffs,
and off to the coach back to sg!
short and brief,
cos the detailed one will probably spoil your eyes.
too long staring at the comp screen see..
anyway.....
it wasn't as romantic luh.
cos it obviously wasn't supposed to feel so.
but i still enjoyed it.
you were kinda protective when we were at the disco
were you?
but i dun like the fact that the guy keeps pulling you away!
to see some ........
tsk!
but anyway,
i still like luh.
hahas.
okay,
some feelings are meant to be kept to oneself.
hehe.
javey! i can't wait to go to thailand!
but i still scared!
hahas.
if gf doesn't wanna go.......
3 girls really damn dangerous!
mayb we'll consider gary's package then okay?
=))))))
ireallyhaveawholeworldoffeelings
shuttightinthiscontainerofmineinmyheart
constantlypoundingonthewalls
waitingforthedayitcanallbeletout
withoutworries
givemethepower
tosetthemfree
willyou?
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 9:40 pm
6/8/09
If you really don't know,
Because i'll miss you.
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 1:07 am
almost all my friends are attached!they shall contribute and play their part
to overcome singapore's ageing population
lols.
cher said that we each have to reproduce 10 kids
in order to overcome this issue
how sia.
mother pig leh.
i'm scared of giving birth to 1
omg. 10!
gf''s mum was so cute.
upon the mentioning of going to thailand tgt,
she said
''bu yao 2 go, 3 come back.''
lols.
girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend.
when will i have the courage to have a boyfriend instead?
and then,
i shall do my part and contribute as well.
hahahahahas.
okay crap.
i really really wanna call you mine =(
but i really really don't have the guts
cos you really really make me feel insecured
especially when i really really have fallen for you.
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 12:27 am
4/8/09
congrats javey =))i'ma happy for you girl!
but on another note:
call me paranoid.
i think i'm childish.
a relationship is gonna be nothing without trust.
we're not gonna ba happy.
trust me.
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 11:11 pm
3/8/09
its the 300th post.
and its not a happy one.
because she's even more afraid than ever right now.
she really wants to say yes.
but,
something keeps pulling her back.
she knows that it perhaps really was nth
but she just refuses to let it go
that's the prob with her
always so stubborn.
she's afraid it'll happen again
being abandoned.
she doesn't like the feeling
she thought he was busy with his stuff
she thought he wanted time to himself
she thought he needed to be alone
she nv expected what she realised
she's disappointed.
but what can she do?
no amount of tears would do any help.
while working today,
many thoughts crossed her mind.
all the songs that played on the player,
seemed to mean something.
sitting there,
even when the catchy songs came on,
i dunno how she managed to tear.
she wants to trust him
she wants to give him a chance
in fact,
she almost did.
but,
she needs some more time.
can she really?
trust someone again?
but,
what if,
you decided to trust,
and you put all your heart in..
something similar happens..
i doubt you can recover.
it might seem minor.
maybe she's over-reacting.
no idea.
Tonight i've fallen and i can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up.
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 1:37 am
1/8/09
The more i think,
the more i see,
the more i feel,
that we probably......
是最最不可能 才这样吸引 待你好只怪是我笨
尽全力难以抱得紧 若抱紧明知不会合衬
谁人叫我太贪心 要你热吻
盲目地 与你说天谈地
这叫做残忍定凄美 明知我后退我也可以避
偏偏又放纵到扮你知己
期望你太多 注定难过 只好怪寂寞令我闯祸
可换到 几次期待不需关怀都庆贺
捱下去结果 也是难过 只有我 自问自答
这苦心对或错 天与地难以有人 可拯救到我
路过几多好人 谁也极吸引
但到底只会为你恨
没缘分才会更多心 没结果才想你步近
旁人也替我担心 替我怒愤
明明是个个也漂亮 偏这样沉溺喜欢你
宁愿恨你丧失趣味 偏偏又爱上你没法心死
期望你太多 注定难过 只好怪寂寞令我闯祸
可换到 几次期待不需关怀都庆贺
捱下去结果 也是难过 只有我 自问自答
这苦心对或错 天与地难以有人 可拯救到我
不理力量奉献几多 不顾后患尚有几多
喜欢你逃避你 你不必知道清楚
期望你太多 注定难过 只好怪寂寞令我闯祸
可换到 几次期待不需关怀都庆贺
捱下去结果 也是难过 只有我 自问自答
这苦心对或错 天与地难以有人 可拯救到我
天再大 唯有你能亲手杀死我
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 6:18 pm
Still reading the damn article!
=(((((
lifeless.
mixed emotions.
sitting here.
once sat here before,
sitting here again.
different feelings?
or the same?
stronger?
weaker?
happier?
scared.
tsk.
think, scared.
dun think, think again.
think, scared again.
dun think again.
think think again.
what's wrong?
hais.
jus pretend you dunno what's betrayal
pretend you dunno what's jealousy
pretend you dunno what's sad
pretend you dunno what's cheating
pretend you dunno the feeling of being hurt
just understand love
just know about caring
embrace the love that is willing to be given to you
without queries.
dun be quick to judge.
dun be scared.
what's yours would be yours.
right?
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 5:05 pm
FUCK.
i so got no motivation to do any work
and i've got no idea why.
farking hell.
it's only 3 more weeks to EST.
i dunno what the hell you're thinking.
can you fucking put the more impt things first?
trying to read the bloody baffling article
but dunno what the fuck is going on.
oh shit yourself.
create so many problems
and den you got no mood for anything towards the end of the sem.
distracted during lessons and what not.
DAMNIT.
hais.
i dunno what the hell luh.
=((
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 2:55 pm
