23/9/09
i dont know why you're doing this to me.
i don't know why you gotta bluff me like this.
is it me?
or what?
why you wanna torture me like this?
why?
if you're not interested,
just let me go.
why do you want to keep me tied to you,
when you're not interested at all?
why do you want to keep me there,
just so that you can make me suffer?
why tell me all lies?
i really am trying hard to understand.
but i just cant.
nobody i talk to will be able to give me advices
because none of them are like you.
everyone's saying just forget it
but you're not allowing me.
WHY?
why don't you wanna let me just let it go,
when you don't really want me at all?
do you know how it feels like being me?
everywhere i go,
i think of you.
even ydae,
we went to dhoby.
the first thing i thought of,
was to walk over to that shop,
and see if there are any suitable materials for the scrapbook
i was supposed to help you with.
and den i scolded myself
and i got scolded by someone else as well.
it hurts so bad.
because the someone who scolded me doesn't really know me well
but still,
his concern was so genuine that i was almost touched to tears.
even though he was sorta shouting at me,
but it wasn't hatred that i felt,
but actually some warmth.
thanks to you,
i realise that there are so many ppl who are actually there for me.
JAVEY!
i really appreciate all the company you've given me.
really.
i dunno how to describe.
just..
THANK YOU.
LOVEs.
once i think about the moment i heard your voice on the phone,
seriously..
just tell me the truth.
i wanna hear the truth!
i wanna noe the truth!
why can't you just tell me?
why?
i can't sleep at night
even though i'm so tired.
not sleeping well every night.
trying to escape everyday,
till my father's gonna ban me from going out.
but i really feel very xinku at home.
REALLY.
FUCK.
i know it's so stupid,
because humans are so stupid.
and i'm a typical stupid human,
who thinks that by torturing yourself,
you wouldn't feel that hurt.
drinking, smoking, everything that's gonna harm my body,
i wanna try.
I WANNA TRY.
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 1:15 pm
