25/1/10
embeddedlove.livejournal.com
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 11:54 pm
20/1/10
Does it mean,
when you keep presents for your past relationships,
that you still feel for the person?
Or issit just me who is thinking too much,
causing misery for myself?
I don't know if the 3months thing is making me act like a retard.
Or if the cause lies with something else.
Maybe we got too close before anything,
and that spoilt everything.
I felt so used to having someone so close,
and yet still have fun at clubs,
going out with friends of both genders without having to answer anyone.
But after the relationship became official,
I have to put consideration into everything I do.
But, you see the dilemma?
In both cases,
the opposite party is you.
And that makes it hard for me.
Because you never used to care
and suddenly I have got to answer you because it is my responsibility to.
I wonder,
if it is because i can get away with misdeeds
and therefore it's ruining our relationship.
I wonder, if i'm paranoid because i act like that or just based on the fact that i don't trust you.
I just wish thing's could fall into place so normally for me.
Like how Jingwei trusts Joseph and they can plan outings and go out happily and talk to one another about anything and how she can tease him and how they would laugh at each other.
Like how Javey and Haiqal spends so many hours together, driving around and talking to each other on msn and tease each other on facebook. The way she looks at him like he's the prince charming that she ha been waiting for.
I don't know about you
but this relationship just feels so weird for me.
I don't know what is wrong.
The fact that i cannot believe we're together?
Or, the fact that you value stuffs that i think should be let go that makes me insecured?
Or, how you managed to hide stuffs from me and now I am paranoid.
I've been through being cheated on,
been through violence,
been through more than what most people think.
Maybe you're right,
it's some kinda psychological problem.
But it's not affecting my friendships,
only my relationship with you.
I really wonder what can be done to make the both of us feel better.
I really wanna know.
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 9:12 pm
17/1/10
I'm really sorry.
From the bottom of my heart.
I feel like I need someone to talk to right now.
For unconsciously hurting someone
I really didn't mean to
I just..
A friend's a friend.
No matter what you're still my friend.
Because you are always so cheerful,
because you never seem to mind
because I don't think you should care about what others think.
because you've got supportive friends and i definitely am one of them.
because i feel for you after knowing how you felt all this while.
I'm sorry i couldn't be the one you could turn to
I'm sorry for saying things that i shouldn't have
I'm sorry that I didn't bother to think before i speak because I didn't think that was a problem at all
I'm really sorry that I wasn't a great friend at all.
But no matter what,
You've got my support.
I love you all the same.
I bet all the other people would share the same sentiments.
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 11:32 am
