1/9/08
TO: my dearest one
you, going to jb without me
has left me feeling lonely alright
no replies to my messages
to be frank
i feel kinda lost
i tink it's cos you're always here for me
always there
that i take you for granted and everything
i always assume you'd be there
and now,
it has onli been a day i know
still,
is this how i'm gonna feel when you're serving the country next yr?
it's fucking terrible.
i'm sorry bout wad happened
and wad i had done
i noe its fucking wrong
and i could tell that you were damn hurt
but i'd promised i'd never do it again
and i really mean it
i dunno see you feeling so down again
and i appreciate your magnanimousness
i swear i wouldn't act the way you did if it happened the other way around
i dun tink i'd forgive you dat easily too
but,
from the bottom of my heart
i swear i really love you
AND
my heart onli has space for one
i swear wad i told you was true
you dun tink after all the times we spent tgt,
i'd go for someone else do you?
and if by any chance you're thinking that,
DAMNIT DELETE IT.
cos it just ain't true alright?
sometimes i get irritated by myself.
i listen to other's love stories
and find ppl possessive
but at times
i wanna be possessive myself.
fucked-up.
love isn't about possessiveness.
love isn't about expensive presents.
love isn't about controlling.
neither is it about charming looks.
love is well,
LOVE.
sacrifice,
self-lessness,
i dun tink i have done v well on my part
but,
i tink YOU
you are trying all means to satisfy my needs
eventhoughyou'refuckingtiredyourself,
youcanjustletmesleeponbus/trainjourneyhomes
makingsureidunjerkmyheadaroundlikeanidiot
makingsuremyhandsaren'tnumb
andwhenmylegsturnnumb,
youmassagethemformelike
idunnomakingmefeellikesotakencareof.
youjustmakemefeelsoloved
butiguessi'vefailedinthataspect
i'm disappointed with myself
when i reflect on my own actions
i realize that everytime
i jus vent all my frustrations on you
and i dun even noe in the first place wad all the frustrations were about
SORRY DARL.
i really miss you right now.
i so feel like hugging you.
feel like falling asleep with you
(kinda tired)
do all parents wanna have a say in their children's relationships?
i dunno.
guess they're jus trying to protect their lil chicks yeah?
its gonna be 8 soon hon,
you're coming back soon right?
i can't wait to see you tml.
and give you a big fat hug.
and i just love you so.CHEWZHIKANG.
`feLicia took an umbrella @ 7:17 pm
